


I Think I'm Lost Without You

by TheLionsDen



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Female/Female Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Kissing, doctor who - Freeform, slight angst, thasmin, thirteenth doctor - Freeform, yasmin khan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLionsDen/pseuds/TheLionsDen
Summary: The doctor gets pulled away by an unknown force.Yaz has to come to terms with the possibility of never seeing her again.
Relationships: The Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Yasmin Khan/ Thirteenth Doctor
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I haven't written fanfic in so long wowzah  
> But thasmin have taken over my life so have a random fic I thought of 
> 
> I'll probably update this with another chapter, there's still a lot I want to explore with these two  
> possibly even delve into mature stuff??? idk we'll see 
> 
> enjoy!

Seven days.  
The Doctor had been gone seven days.  
Seven, very long and very painful days. 

Yaz had forgotten what normal life felt like. Going back to her job, getting up at 5am sharp every day.  
Even time was now a bizarre concept to her. Being on the Tardis, time always seemed to slip away. Days moulded into weeks, weeks into months. She wasn’t even sure how long she’d been travelling onboard the space vessel. But all she knew was, she missed it so much.  
She missed seeing the wonders the galaxy had to offer her. She missed hanging out with Ryan and Graham. She missed the exuberant alien that had literally fallen into her life, that fateful night on the train.  
When she closes her eyes at night she can still hear the Tardis wheezing as it failed to stabilize. The doctor fumbled at the console, trying to get it to stop.  
Yaz can still see the look in the Doctor's eyes. Pure and utter despair.  
“I’m so sorry” she whispered breathlessly as the Tardis dematerialised from around them, taking the Doctor with it.  
Then she was gone.  
They had just landed back in Sheffield after another escapade when the Doctor announced that an invisble force had suddenly locked onto the Tardis.  
Her eyebrows furrowed as she studied the various monitors before her, now flashing all sorts of alerts and warnings.  
“No, that can’t be” she mutters to herself.  
“What, what’s happening?” Ryan asked, his confused expression mirrored on the other companions faces.  
“I don’t know” she shook her head “But I do not like the look of this” the Doctor set about flipping switches and levers, trying to identify whatever it was the Tardis was alerting them for.  
All the others could do was stand around, watching as the Doctor frantically ran around the console. Yaz stopped the Doctor mid run, a hand on her shoulder.  
“Doctor, what is it? You’re too quiet. I hate it when you’re quiet”  
She looked to Yaz, her hazel eyes glistening in the warm light of the Tardis’ crystal pillars. Yaz swore she saw the hint of tears. The Doctor swallowed thickly.  
“Something has locked onto us and is trying to pull the Tardis back and I don’t think I can stop it.”  
Yaz looked from the Doctor to the console. Surely there must be something she could do?  
Graham and Ryan passed nervous glances between each other.  
“I’m sorry guys,” she turns to them. “But whatever this thing is, it wants me too.”  
“What?” asks Graham, being as confused as ever.  
“Something or someone is pulling the Tardis back and if I can’t stabilize it, it’ll take me too.” 

“Yaz!”  
A stern voice calls her from her daze. She rubs her aching eyes, she hadn't slept much.  
“Yeah, sorry. I’m here”  
Static sounded over the radio in the police car. She’d forgotten she was out on patrol, waiting for a call to come. Probably one about another parking dispute.  
“Your shift is over, why haven’t you come back into the station yet?”  
Her eyes flit to the clock on the dashboard. Her shift ended half an hour ago. How long had she’d been sat there for? Her last callout was almost two hours ago. Just another fight breaking out on the street between two teenagers. They settled pretty quickly and went home.  
“Yeah, sorry. I’m on my way.” 

She’s greeted by her mother when she gets home. The familiar scent of home cooked food wafting through the air. It was a cold night and she was glad to get back to the warmth.  
“Hiya love” her mum chirps, she sees the bags under her daughters eyes. Her smile falters.  
“You alright?”  
“Yeah, just a long day” the younger woman sighs.  
Najia cocks her head, offering her daughter a sympathetic smile.  
“Still no word from the Doctor?” Yaz shakes her head, throwing her police hat down onto the kitchen table. “How long has it been since you last saw her?”  
“Almost 8 days” she whispers, tears beginning to sting the corners of her eyes. Her throat dries and she swears she can feel her heart sink into her stomach. Saying it out loud reminded her how scared she was. Scared she’d never see her again. She had so much she wanted to say to her, so many things she wanted to do and see. The thought of it all disappearing before her eyes tipped the scales. Sobs wracked her body, the tears began streaming down her tired aching face.  
Najia pulled her into a comforting hug, allowing her to cry into her shoulder. Trying to ground her, she held on tight until her crying subsided to mere whimpers.  
Yaz pulled back, wiping her tears on the sleeve of her jacket.  
“Sorry, I’m just so worried.” she let out a shaky breath.  
“No need to be sorry love.” she rubbed at her arm. “I’ll put the kettle on.” 

Yaz lay her head down for the night, wondering just how much sleep she would get this time.  
Unable to close her eyes without seeing the doctor. All happy memories fading away along with the tardis. She kept her curtains open a crack every night, hoping she would catch a glimpse of the blue police box landing outside of her apartment. But it never did. 

Yaz was starting to accept normality. When the weekend came around she used her free time to get lost in her studies. Busying herself with learning more about the judicial system. It all seemed so boring and mundane compared to being on an alien planet with her best friends. She hadn’t even had time to think about her career, everything just seemed to be put on hold when the doctor whisked them away to another planet or time period. She rubbed at her temples, a storm brewing in her mind. She was finding it harder and harder to stop the thoughts of the doctor stranded somewhere, alone and afraid.  
Pushing back the thoughts, she decided to pay a visit to Ryan and Graham. She hadn’t seen them since they were left abandoned back in Sheffield.  
She pauses before knocking, wondering if this was a good idea. Holding her nerve, she tapped at the door.  
“Hiya Yaz” says Graham as he peeks from round the door, looking just as tired and worn.  
“Hey, sorry to bother you, just wondering if you’d heard anything?”  
Graham looks to the ground solemnly before bringing his gaze back up to the woman standing before him. He shakes his head.  
“No. No I haven’t. Have you?”  
There it was again, the feeling of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.  
“No.”  
“Come in,” he gestures her in and he moves to the side allowing her entry. She accepts with a small smile.  
Ryan gets up from his seat in the lounge. Offering Yaz a defeated smile.  
“Alright?” he asks. He knows she’s far from alright, just as he is.  
“Yeah.” she nods, not seeming too convinced by her own voice. “Fine.”  
“Good.” he nods meekly. The air is stifling and it feels like it’s been pulled taut between them.  
The Doctor was the one who brought them all together and it seems like without her there, they had no reason to be close.  
“Sorry, I’ll go, you guys probably don’t want me here.” Yaz heads for the door.  
“No, it’s alright.” Graham stops her. “You can stay.” He gives her a warm smile, Yaz nods, sitting down. 

After a while of sitting in silence, the three companions start to reminisce about their time on the spaceship. Slowly but surely the mood is lifted and before long they’re all laughing at the Doctors escapades.  
“I still can’t believe she fried a Dalek with me dad’s microwave.” Ryan laughs, shaking his head.  
“Me neither” Yaz smiles, was there nothing that woman could do, she thinks. The laughter falters and their voices become whispers.  
“I miss her so much,” says Yaz. “I just can’t believe after everything that happened, she just disappeared like that.” She looks to Ryan and Graham, their faces stiffened.  
“I know,” Graham laments. “It’s crazy. One minute you’re coming back from an alien planet, the next you’re back at home watching daytime TV, acting like nothing ever happened.”  
“Yeah,” Ryan nods. “I forgot what being back here felt like.”  
“Me too,” adds Yaz. “I just wish we knew where she was and if she’s safe.”  
They both nod in agreement, not another word passing their lips. 

Yaz looks out the window, only just realising how dark it had gotten. The cold winter night drawing in.  
“I best go,” she said turning to face Ryan. Graham had excused himself a while ago to go to bed.  
“Alright, will you be okay?”  
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Got the house to myself tonight. I can finally watch what I want on TV” she laughs quietly to herself. Her mum, dad and sister had gone for the night to visit family. They had asked if she wanted to go but she politely declined. Still clinging onto the hope that the Doctor would return. She gets up and starts to head for the door.  
“I want her to come back too, ya know?”  
Yaz stops in her tracks and turns to the man stood behind her. “The thought of being back here, going back to normal life.” he looks to the floor, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. He can’t find the next words, his lip trembles.  
“I know,” Yaz reaches out and gives him a reassuring pat on the arm.  
“I get it though, must be harder for you.”  
Yaz’s dark eyebrows knit together in confusion, her head tilting slightly.  
“What do you mean?”  
Ryan looks at her like the answer is obvious. “You know.” he gestures. “You like her, don’t you?”  
“Yeah, she’s amazing, what’s not to like?” she smiles, thinking about the blonde haired alien.  
“You know that’s not what I meant” Ryan tuts in frustration. Yaz blinks at her friend, not quite believing what he’d said. Was it that obvious?  
Yaz scoffs, pushing her tongue into her cheek. Biting back an onslaught of confession she can feel rising in her throat. She lets out a deep long sigh, her shoulders slumping. She’d never said it out loud before. Even the mere thought of putting it into words and releasing it into the air scared her.  
She looked to Ryan, studying his features. He stood, waiting for a response. A response Yasmin Khan didn’t think she could give.  
She nods, words completely failing her.  
“Okay, I won’t ask for any more details,” he says with a slight smirk. He knew it. All this time travelling together, he picked up on subtle cues. Looking at his friend and the doctor when they were deep in conversation together. How their eyes lit up as they bounced back and forth. A spark igniting between them. Stolen glances when they thought the other one wasn’t looking. A touch to the shoulder or arm here and there. It all added up. He was upset about the Doc dissapearing but he knew what he felt was amplified ten times in Yaz’s heart. Looking into her dark brown eyes, no longer seeing the bright spark that had previously been there. The spark that had died out since the day the doctor had left. The spark that he feared would never return. 

Yaz got home to a silent and empty flat. Her back pressed against the door, letting out a strangled breath. She felt hopeless. Even more hopeless than when the doctor had landed herself on the ducking stool. Seeing her plummet into the freezing cold water. Her breath hitched as she waited for her to come to the surface. It felt like hours had passed by before she saw a very damp shivering time lord emerge from the lake. Her heart rose in her chest at the sight. What she wouldn’t give to have that feeling again. She would give anything to see a flash of that brilliant blue coat and yellow suspenders. 

Another troubled night of sleep. Yaz tossed and turned, sweat dripping down her dark skin. She cried out, her hand reaching for the Doctor as she faded away into nothing. The Tardis groaned and wheezed as it was pulled through time and space against its will. Yaz awoke, startled.  
Her heart hammered against her ribcage, her breaths were shallow and hot. It had felt so real, the sounds deafening her. She could still hear it now, the engines of the tardis struggling to stabilize.  
“Doctor?” Yaz spoke, not even knowing if she was still in dream. Her trance like state died quickly when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart skipped a beat, looking to her bedside clock.  
It was 3 in the morning, who was here at this time? She froze, listening out, still unsure if it was all in her mind.  
Another knock, this time more louder and frantic.  
The woman shot up out of bed, contemplating grabbing something to use as a potential weapon, her police instincts kicking in.  
“Yaz?” A small voiced sounded from behind the door. “Yaz, are you home?”  
She knew that voice anywhere. She flew out of her room and to the front door. Fumbling with the keys and dropping them in an attempt to open the door as quickly as she could. The key finally slotted into the lock, she turned with shaking hands.  
There she stood, blue coat dirty and damp. Blonde hair ruffled, eyes red.  
“Oh my god.” she said breathlessly. She really hoped she wasn’t still dreaming. 

She reached out, grabbing the blonde in front of her. Her arms swung around her neck, pulling her to her as tight as possible. She needed to feel something, she needed to know she was real. She was freezing and wet but when the familiar scent of early grey tea and motor oil seeped into her nostrils, she knew. Pulling back, she suddenly felt embarrassed. She had never hugged the doctor before and she wanted to do it again. But that thought was pushed out of her mind when she noticed the deep crimson staining her rainbow shirt.  
“Oh my god Doctor, you’re hurt!”  
“Hiya Yaz!” she beamed with a wide smile, slightly out of breath. The tip of her nose and cheeks turning the same shade of red as her stained shirt. “Not disturbing ya, am I?”  
Yaz couldn’t comprehend what was happening before her. Her mind still in a haze and her nostrils filled with the doctors scent mixed with wet earth and blood.  
“N-No,” she finally managed to sputter out. Her heart threatened to explode in her chest. The doctor could hear it along with her own two hearts thumping away. Oh, how she’d missed Yaz.  
Her Yaz.  
“Can I come in?” she asks warily. Yaz nodded her head immediately, stepping aside to let her through. The doctor walked with a limp, clutching her chest, above the deep red stain. “Thanks.” she smiled. She looked around before realising “Oh!” she exclaims, her voice suddenly dropping to a whisper. “Your family aren’t here are they? I hope I’m not waking anyone up.”  
“No, they’re all out for the night, visiting family.” Her voice wavers.  
Yaz still can’t believe the sight in front of her. There she stood, sodden and tired. But she was there. She resisted the urge to reach out and hold her again. “Where” she begins, her voice faltering.  
“Where have you been?”  
The doctors eyes flitter around like she’s looking for something.  
“How long have I been gone?” she asks when her eyes land onto the younger woman.  
“8 days.” Yaz exhales.  
“Oh,.That’s a lot longer than I thought.” her raised eyebrows fall into a furrow. Yaz looks her up and down, wondering how on earth (or another planet) she’d gotten into this state. She’d just noticed her trousers were ripped in several places, her suspenders fallen from around her shoulders. The time lord exhales deeply.  
“I’m so sorry, Yaz.”  
There it was again, the image flooding to her mind. The Doctor’s forlorn gaze as she faded out of existence. Yaz thought she’d feel happier at seeing the Doctor but she was just sad. So incredibly sad. There was something behind the older woman's eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. “In my time I’d only been gone for a few hours.” She started, shrugging her coat off, her nose scrunching at the rips in the material.  
“Aww, I love this coat,” she sighed. Yaz didn’t care about her coat, she was more worried about the seeping wound in her chest. The wound that seered when the doctor moved her arm. The pain shot through her like electricity. She breathed through her teeth, her hand clasping at her shirt, trying to hide the pain.  
“Doctor!” Yaz stepped forward, not quite sure what to do. Her outstretched hands trembled. The doctor composed herself, her screwed shut eyes flickered open.  
“It’s okay,” she reassured her companion. “I’m fine.”  
“You don’t look fine!” her tone was more stern than she wanted it to be. The doctor was amazing but she really needed to accept when she needed help. “It’s just a scratch!” she pulls her shirt away from her skin, revealing a deep wound sat just below her collarbone.  
“Oh my god.” Yaz bit back the tears. Her police training took a hold and she rushed to the bathroom for the first aid kid. 

It’s fine, really!” she shouted to Yaz as she scurried around the kitchen, picking up various bits of medical supplies.  
“No, it isn’t!” she threw all of her finds onto the kitchen table. “You’re really hurt, Doctor.”  
“Ah, it’s nothing I can’t sleep off,” she laughed, her face contorting as another wave of pain flashed through her. The wound wasn’t too deep, but it had torn the skin where the bullet had ricocheted. The area around it burnt and it was become redder by the minute. Yaz reached out a tentative hand, silently asking for permission. The doctor nodded, answering her unheard question.  
She slowly peeled back the thin material, wincing when she saw the deep red gash. She could almost feel the pain herself, a dull ache over her heart. Yaz didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath from the doctor when her fingertips grazed the milky whiteskin of her shoulder.  
“Sorry,” she grimaced. “It must really hurt.”  
It hadn’t hurt at all, but the feel of Yaz’s soft touch over her bare skin was enough to set her nerves alight. “It looks like it’s starting to close” she says, inspecting the gash closer. She watches as the older womans chest rises and falls with staggering, heaving breaths. She was so beautiful. Even covered in blood and muck, Yaz thought.  
“See! I’ll be right as rain.” She smiles a wide smile. Yaz loves the way her nose scrunches.  
“Can I at least clean it for you? I don’t want it to get infected.”  
“You do have a point,” she looks from her injury to the woman before her. Yasmin Khan was very smart, there was no denying that. 

Amidst all the panic and chaos, Yaz had almost forgotten to ask the doctor what had happened. She sat acrosss from the alien on the couch. Taking in the lines of her face and her brilliant green eyes that glowed in the warm light of the room. The doctor pulled down her shirt, exposing her chest to the younger woman, moving her head to the side to allow her better access. Yaz can’t help but look at the muscles flexing in her neck, the dip of her collarbone. She pushed that all away and focused on the task at hand. Grabbing some iodine she soaked a cotton pad and hovered it over the wound.  
“This might sting a bit.” she warned.  
“It’s fine,” she nodded. “I trust you.” she said, barely a whisper.  
Yaz felt her heart skip a beat at the doctors words. She lightly placed the cotton pad over the gash.  
She inhaled sharply through her nose, eyebrows pinching. Yaz felt a pang of guilt run through her. She didn’t want to hurt her but she had to help. She lightly brushed over the wound, collecting the dried blood onto the pad. She repeated it several times, the doctors pale skin becoming more visible. Yaz breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the wound wasn’t as deep as she first thought.  
“So,” she spoke, almost regrettably, not wanting to break the still air with her voice. “What happened?” She continued with her cleaning, thankful when the doctors tense posture slackened, melting into her touch.  
“Where do I even begin?” she turned to face her companion, holding her gaze. “Basically I landed in a forest. No idea where it was, didn;t get a chance to do a proper reading with me sonic. Something had locked onto the tardis and teleported it back. I couldn’t stop it.”  
“So you don’t know who it was?”  
“No, didn’t see them. Only saw the sniperbots that shot at me.”  
“Not them again.” Yaz sighed. She thought she’d heard of the last of them.  
“Yeah, I reckon it was just someone who picked up on the artron energy and wanted it for themselves. I only got out of the Tardis to see what was going on and that’s when...” her eyes flit to her chest. “Once the Tardis stabilized I was able to get it out of there. Set the co ordinates to here. Didn’t have time to check the date though.”  
Yaz set the iodine aside, happy that the doctors wound was well and truly clean. She looks down, taking in her handiwork, already feeling much better. “Thanks Yaz.” her smile falters, guilt in her eyes. “I’m so sorry I left you.”  
There’s a pause. Only looks are passed between them.  
“It’s okay.” Yaz smiles, finally breaking the silence.“I’m just glad you’re back.”  
“Me too.” she nods, her fingers curling around Yaz’s slightly blood stained hand. She looks down at their now interlocking fingers. She felt grounded, like an anchor to shore.  
“I was so scared.” a tear tracks down her cheek, glistening in the soft light. “I was beginning to think I’d never see you again.” she continues looking down. The doctors thumb rubbed soothing circles over her skin, sending a chill up her spine. “I never got the chance to tell you-” she stopped herself. “Never mind” she shrugged it off, shaking her head.  
“Yaz,” her voice is so soft and quiet, she wasn’t even sure if she’s said anything aloud. She lifts a pale hand to the dark skin of the younger woman's cheek. Her thumb swiping away a stray tear.  
Their eyes finally meet, holding their gaze before the Doctor slowly leans in. Her lips part ever so slightly, blowing hot air onto Yaz’s own quivering lips. “Can I kiss you?” she whispers. Yaz’s heart threatens to stop dead in her chest.  
“Please,” she breathes out the air she’s been holding in her lungs. With that, she space between them closes, their lips finally touching. A feather light kiss ghosts the younger woman's lips. What feels like a whole eternity passes. The time lord pulls away, resting her forehead to the other woman's. They both exhale a small laugh, Yaz noting the blondes bottom lip caught between her teeth. A sight she’ll very likely keep stored away in her mind.  
“I thought I’d never get the chance to do that.” The doctor says.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohoo boy things are heating up   
> gonna have to change the rating of this fic whoops

“You look exhausted.” The blonde haired woman spoke after what seemed like several hours of silence. They remained close, the time lord pulling back slightly, catching sight of her companion in the low light. Her eyes were bloodshot and teary. Her hair in disarray, strands became loose from her messy bun, falling around her neck.   
Yaz had only just remembered that she was in her pyjamas: a light purple vest top with plaid purple shorts. She suddenly felt embarrassed, becoming aware of how she looked. Especially when the doctor raked her eyes over her, heat beginning to rise from the pit of her stomach. The alien thought she looked positively adorable.  
Her thoughts shifted to how defined her arms and legs were, strong and muscular. Running around on alien planets was sure keeping her in shape. She swallowed thickly, she hadn’t seen this much of Yaz’s skin before and she almost felt spoilt from how much was now on show. Bringing herself back down to earth and to the present moment, the Doctor drew herself back. “You should get some sleep.”   
“Okay.” she nods her head with a smile. “Only if you get yourself cleaned up and I know for definite you’re okay.” 

Yaz showed the Doctor into the bathroom. Her shower wasn’t as luxurious as the ones on the Tardis. No glowing crystal pillars adorning the walls, no fancy jet systems that could clean you off in an instant. Just a standard, human bathroom. But the alien was fascinated none the less. Yaz laughed as she picked up the various bottles of lotions and flipped the caps, smelling the contents inside. She was utterly bemused by it all.   
Yaz was preoccupied with grabbing some towels for her friend when she hadn’t realised said friend was undressing just behind her. She turned round, seeing a flash of exposed pale skin.   
“Oh my god, doctor!” she shielded her eyes, towels dropping to the floor.   
“What?” the very naked woman exclaimed, shaking her head. She looked down, forgetting how sensitive some humans were to nakedness. “Oh, right, sorry.” She bent down, picking up the towel from the floor, wrapping it around herself.   
Yaz would never admit that she may have peaked through her fingers a little when the doctor was preoccupied with hooking the towel under her arms.   
“It’s fine,” Yaz stifled her laughter. “Just warn me before you do that.” 

“You can look now.”   
Yaz slowly took her hands from her face, the heat rising in her cheeks. She couldn’t help when her eyes dropped to take in the woman's defined collarbones. She chastised herself.   
“Okay I’ll leave you to it.” she shot out of the bathroom as quick as she could. The doctor smiled to herself when she heard the younger woman groan an “Oh my god.” when the door closed. 

Sitting on the couch, Yaz was still buzzing with excitement. She could still feel the doctors lips on her own. How soft and gentle they were, although slightly chapped from the cold. Her heart had only just begun to slow down. That quick glimpse of a very naked doctor flashing through her mind.   
“Pull yourself together, Khan.”   
The sound of the water flowing from the bathroom stopped. A few minuted passed by and a wet haired alien peeked her head from behind the door.   
“Hiya Yaz.” she called out. “Don’t suppose you’ve got something for me to wear, have ya? I didn’t pick up any clean clothes from the Tardis.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Yaz sprang to her feet, keeping her eyes to the carpet as she passed the bathroom door. Catching a smell of the doctor, she had used her shower gel and shampoo. Yaz peered out of her bedroom window to the streets below, eyeing the blue box parked outside. She noted the deep bullet shaped holes in the wood. Feeling thankful those bullet holes weren’t in the doctor. She pulled out an old Arctic Monkeys t shirt and some shorts.   
“Here you go.” she held them through the crack of the door, a hand reaching out to grab them. Their fingers briefly brushing over one another. She hoped the alien hadn’t felt how shaky her hands were.  
“Thanks Yaz, you’re the best.” 

She paced back and forth, waiting for the time lord to emerge. She thought she was going to wear holes in the floor. Finally with a creak, the door opened. A damp, curly haired blonde emerged, looking down at her outfit.   
“Very nice choice in pyjamas.” she smiled.   
Yaz looked to her, her stomach doing flips at the sight. Oh my god, could she get any cuter?   
“Uh.” dark eyes flew around the room, trying to fixate on something that wasn’t the doctor. “We should probably get some sleep.”   
“Yeah,” she nod understandably, “I’ll uh, head back to the tardis, thanks for everything, Yaz.” she turned on her heel to head out.   
“Doctor!” she called. “It’s alright, you can stay here. I don’t want you disappearing again.” She laughed but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her heart sunk at the thought.  
“Are- are you sure? I honestly don’t mind.”   
“Don’t be daft, you’re always welcome here.”   
“Okay,” she smiled warmly. “Thank you.”

The doctor insisted she could sleep on the couch but Yaz didn’t want to let her out of her sight.   
“It’s alright.” she opened the door to her bedroom. “My beds big enough for both of us.”   
The alien looked around her room, noting the many pictures adorning the walls of Yaz and her family. She spotted a small photo frame including a picture of a very small girl in a karate outfit, looking rather pleased with herself. The doctor smiled, picking it up to look at it closer.   
“Oh, yeah.” Yaz grimaced, noticing what the doctor was looking at.“That’s embarrassing.”   
“No, it’s cute!” she laughed lightly at the thought of little Yasmin Khan being as feisty as she was now. The younger woman drew back the sheets and slipped into bed. She sunk down into the soft, welcoming mattress. The doctor studied some of the other pictures on the walls, smiling at all the happy faces that laid out before her. She also noted Umbreen’s broken watch on a chest of drawers. The memory coming back of how sad Yaz looked when she found out what was going to happen on that fateful day. 

Yaz lay down her weary head, not being able to take the weight of it any more.   
“You can get in,” she gestured to the empty space beside her. The doctor had frozen in place, like a deer in headlights. Her hands worrying by her sides.   
“Okay,” she nod her head, her hair curling at the ends as it dried. She slowly padded over to the bed and shimmied under the covers. It had already warmed from the younger woman's body heat. It was welcoming and the alien hadn’t realised just how tired she was. She was surely due a sleep any day now. 

She lay on her side, facing her companion.   
Yaz rest her eyes on the doctors chest, the gash still looking sore and angry.   
“How are you feeling now?” she whispered, her voice gravelly from drowsiness.   
“Much better, thanks to you.” she looked to her wound that throbbed slightly, her skin still stinging. “Nothing a bit of sleep won’t fix. Should be healed in no time.”   
“That’s good,” Yaz hummed, her heavy eyelids flickering. “I text Ryan and Graham by the way, told them you were safe and with me.”  
“Ah yeah, how are they?” she grimaced, remembering they too hadn’t seen her for a week.   
“They’re fine. Just glad you’re okay. I said I’ll explain everything tomorrow.”   
The Doctor nod her head, a yawn slipping from her mouth.   
“Thank you, Yaz. For everything.” She leaned over, pressing her lips to the other woman's forehead. “Get some sleep.” she whispered, her rhumb stroking over her cheek. Yaz nod before finally succumbing to her tiredness, slipping into a deep slumber. 

“I’m so sorry.”   
The doctor faded from existence, Yaz screamed her name, throat burning. Arms reaching out to grab her but they found nothing but thin air. The next image she saw was haunting. The time lord on the ground beneath her, laying in her own blood. No matter how hard Yaz tried, she couldn’t get her to wake up. She could feel it herself, an immense weight pushing into her chest, taking the air from her lungs.   
“Doctor, no!” she cried out, her own voice waking her from her nightmare.   
“Hey, it’s okay, shhh,” she felt two strong arms holding her, bringing her back down to earth. “It’s okay, I’m here.” a soothing voice whispered into the shell of her ear.   
Finally opening her burning eyes she saw blonde hair and those familiar golden hazel eyes. Her heart hammering in her chest. She sat up instantly, her head pounding. “It was just a dream,” the doctor cooed, her hand now resting on her back, offering her support as she sat up.  
“I’m sorry,” she shook her head, feeling the sweat drip down her forehead. “I was dreaming. You- you disappeared again and-”   
“Hey, Yaz. Yaz look at me.” She held her face, dark eyes meeting hazel. “I’m here.”   
“It felt so real,” she began to cry. “I saw you, on the ground bleeding out and I couldn't save you and-”   
“It’s okay, I’m here.” she took Yaz’s hand in her own, guiding it to her chest. “See?” She rested her hand there, feeling the thumping of dual hearts beneath her palm. “I’m fine.”   
She focused on the steady rhythm, her own heart slowing down to match. She breathed out, her lungs burning from holding in all the oxygen. Her fingers toyed at the material of her shirt, feeling the warmth beneath her hand. This was real. Her heart had only begun to slow down when it started to race once more when she felt a pair of lips close around her own. The kiss was light and unsure, testing the waters yet again. The doctor was dipping her toe in but Yaz wanted to jump off the deep end. A coil in her stomach was pulling tight, begging to be released.   
“Doctor,” she whispered, almost pleading.   
This time, it was Yaz who drew the other woman in, taking as much of her as she wanted. Their lips clashed together, teeth knocking. But neither of them cared. Her hand, still on the blondes chest, fisted into her shirt, pulling her in closer. Needing to feel more of her and making sure she wouldn’t fade away again. Pale hands raked into dark brown, tugging at the roots, earning a moan from the police officer. Feeling braver than before, Yaz flicked her tongue against the doctors lips, earning access. She heard a low hum in the Doctors throat when her tongue moved deftly, running over her lower lip and into her mouth. The grip in her hair tightened, spurring the younger woman on.   
“Yaz,” she groaned out breathlessly when their lips parted for air.   
She felt heady, hearing her name being said like that. A fire roared low in her belly that began to spread between her legs. Hands tried to find purchase anywhere they could, grasping at hair, clothes, limbs. The younger woman almost whimpered when she felt the lips leave her mouth but she rejoiced when they fell to her neck instead. Trailing kisses down the sensitive skin there, nipping at her pulse point. She breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of her coconut shampoo in the doctors hair. This all felt so surreal. Teeth closed around the skin at the joining between her neck and shoulder. The blonde bit down; hard. She’d never felt like this before. She wanted to worship every inch of the delicate dark skin beneath her. Letting up, she soothed her tongue over the now bruising flesh. Peppering kisses over her collarbone and back up her neck.   
When Yaz looked to her, she could make out her eyes in the faint early morning light. Brilliant hazel orbs now completed engulfed by dark pupils. The tip of her nose and ears now painted red, her cheeks flushed. Chest rising and falling rapidly with heaving breaths.   
“You’re so beautiful.” Yaz whispered breathlessly.   
Beautiful. Something the doctor had never been called before. Her two hearts fluttered in her chest. She looked at her companion, her blood hot in her veins. What had this girl done to her?  
“I could say the same about you, PC Khan.” she grinned, an eyebrow quirked. 

Yaz didn’t even know how it happened but several minutes later, lips almost bruised from kissing. The doctor had straddled her hips, pinning her to the bed. Her shirt riding up, skin meeting the cool air. Hands found the newly exposed skin of her stomach. The doctor marvelled at the taught muscles beneath fingertips. Her fingernails raking down her sides. She steadied herself with an arm at the side of the woman's head below her. She felt like she losing grip on reality, becoming lost in Yaz’s kisses.   
The doctor knew her newly regenerated body was more sensitive than before, but all of her nerve endings had been set alight and they burnt like the sun. Grabbing her free hand, Yaz lead it up to her chest, coaxing the older woman to curl her fingers around a breast. She complied, squeezing lightly, thumb grazing over her nipple that was now straining through the thin material of her top.   
“Oh my god,” she breathed out. A sensation she’d never felt before. She’d never been touched like this before. She felt like she might explode like a super nova any minute now. The Doctor took Yaz’s bottom lip between her teeth and pulled. Marvelling in the small squeal from beneath her.   
“Can I just say Yaz.” the doctor grinned. “You really need to get out of those clothes.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here some shameless smut  
> enjoy

Suddenly the Doctor pulled back, sitting up on Yaz’s hips.  
“You okay?” she asks, slightly upset that the doctors lips are no longer on her.  
“Yeah,” she rasped, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. “Just wanted to make sure this is definitely what you want. I’m not the best at picking up on cues.”  
Yaz stifled her laughter.  
“Doctor, you’re sat on top of me, we’ve been making out for the past half an hour. You’re really asking if I want this?” her head cocked, eyebrow raised. A small smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.  
“Uh, yeah?” the doctor said, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Yaz loved the line between her brows when they furrowed. One of the many things she loved about her. Love? That was definitely something she’d have to unpack later.  
“Yes,” she leaned up on her elbows, placing a hand on the blondes red hot cheek. “I want nothing more, Doctor.”  
Reassured, the time lord nodded happily.  
“Okay, I want this too. A lot.”  
First time she’d admitted that out loud. Travelling to alien planets and far off galaxies really took up a lot of thinking space. It was only in the quieter moments, when her fam weren't around that she really contemplated it. She’d always thought the police officer was beautiful and smart. Strong willed and feisty. Her thoughts were interrupted when she was pulled back down into a seering kiss.  
“Well. What are we waiting for then?” Yaz’s lips curled upwards, revealing a sharp smirk. 

Yaz’s hands rested on the blondes shoulder blades, feeling her strong muscles as they moved below her palms. She hadn’t noticed just how toned she was. Her clothes always hiding most of her away. But now she was in just a thin t shirt and shorts, she could feel every curvature of her. The slope of her hips, her ribs expanding as she breathed heavily. Her hands running over her bare thighs, revelling in how soft her skin was. Feeling braver by the second, her wandering hands landed atop her lower back, raking her fingers down to grab her behind. Getting a good handful of flesh, giving her a squeeze, delighted at the sudden jerk from the doctor.  
“Oh, that’s new.” she laughed into the skin of Yaz’s neck where she was currently planting kisses.  
A fire blazed wherever the human touched her, finding places on her body she never even knew would love to be felt. Moving down from her neck, she lay kisses across her collarbones, one at a time. The woman underneath her becoming more and more frustrated by the second. The white hot heat inside of her becoming unbearable. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt this hot before. 

She tangles her fingers in blonde locks, guiding her head further down to where she wanted it to be.  
But the doctor was having none of it, she would take her sweet time. She had all the time in the world and solar system. Savouring every little touch and whimper. She grabbed at the hem of her shirt, looking to Yaz for an answer. She nodded and before she knew it, her shirt was being lifted over her head. Feeling a little relief when her hot skin met the cool air. The older woman took her in. She was even more beautiful than she’d imagined. A small smile played on her lips before her head bowed down, drawing a firm nipple into her mouth.  
“Oh, shit.” Yasmin gasped. She felt teeth bare against her skin as the doctor smiled. Her back arched into her touch, wanting the doctor to completely devour her. Her tongue swirled around the stiffened bud, making it harder. The free hand that wasn’t fisted into the bed sheets below her, grasped at her neglected breast. Squeezing and rolling her nipple between her forefinger and thumb, mirroring what she was doing with her mouth. 

The younger woman couldn’t stop squirming, trying to find purchase on something. Her hips canting up, trying to find the older woman's thigh. Rutting against her like a horny teenager. The doctor was loving every second of this. Yaz’s little frustrated whimpers and moans. It was music to her ears. All the while, the heat low in her belly had spread like wildfire. Goosebumps raised on every inch of her skin as Yaz desperately grabbed onto whatever she could reach. Her nails digging into her. She moved over the to other side, repeating her actions to the other breast before releasing the nipple held between her teeth. She dragged her lips down over her stomach, biting at the hip bone that jutted out of her shorts. She was so incredibly soft and feared even the slightest of pressure would bruise her but Yaz insisted she wouldn't break. Her hot lips kissed down her stomach, tongue dragging down the skin beneath her navel. She stopped at the waist band of her shorts. Yaz had to resist the urge to push her head down further, wanting her between her thighs.  
“What do you need, Yaz?” she asked, her tone low and gravelly. Her fingers curling under the elastic of her shorts, pulling down slightly.  
“I need,” she breathed, words failing her. A sharp bite to her hip made her regain some of her thought. “I need you, Doctor. Please.” 

That was all she needed to hear. After pulling her shorts down her legs and discarding them to the floor, she crawled back up her body, reuniting their lips. Yaz was about to complain when she felt fingers slide under her underwear and delve into hot wetness.  
She gasped, her eyebrows pinching together. A wide smile formed on the time lords face as she took in the woman's expression before her. Between her own legs trembling at the sight.  
Her touch was light, almost not there. Exploring the shapes beneath her deft fingers. The doctors hot breath came out in short pants, blowing over her neck. Knowing the doctor was just as worked up as her, turned her on even further. She buried her head into the crook of her shoulder, the hand in her underwear moving at a more steady pace. The coil in Yaz’s stomach pulled to its tightest, threatening to snap. With a shaking hand, she grabbed the doctors forearm, aiding her movements and encouraging her to pick up the pace. A finger dropped further down into her core, readied outside of her entrance, looking to her for permission.  
“Can I?” she asked.  
Yaz nodded, a little too enthusiastically.  
“Oh god, please.” 

Her wish was granted when a finger slid into her, followed shortly by another. A loud moan sounded from the younger woman, bottom lip caught between her teeth to stop her from almost screaming. The apartment had very thin walls, she remembered. Maybe a little too late.  
She wasn’t even sure when the doctor had removed her underwear or when she had sucked a deep, dark bruise on her chest. All she could focus on was the doctors fingers inside of her, almost to the hilt. She pumped them in and out, her thigh behind her hand, adding extra force. The time lord couldn’t hide her own groans any more when their bodies moved together perfectly.  
“Oh, gods Yaz. You feel so good.” she almost growled, earning another moan from the younger woman. Her legs beginning to tremble and burn as the sensations were building to the finale.  
The blondes free hand gripped at the headboard, the wood groaning under her strong grip. The air around them was hot, their breaths mingling. Yaz felt euphoric being this close to such a magnificent being, sharing the same air, feeling her deep within her. It’s like there was no one else in the world but them. 

Taking her thumb, she circled her hardened clit, in perfect tandem to the thrust of her fingers. The slick sounds and their heavy breathing filled the air. The bed creaking slightly under their movement. Yaz wrapped her legs around the doctors back, allowing her to go deeper. She swore she saw the stars behind her eyes, her brain finally checking out when the doctor groaned in her ear.  
“Are you gonna come for me, Yaz?”  
With those seven words, the pressure building inside of her released. Every nerve in her body exposed and raw. Her whole body shook and her legs clamped together, trapping the doctors hand in a deathly grip. The time lords name on her lips, but all that came out was silence. Her cries stifled, throwing her head back, exposing her jugular. The doctor latched onto it with her teeth, like a predator with it’s wounded prey. Her hand didn’t still, drawing out as much as she could from the writhing woman beneath her. Her grip finally loosened and her squirming began to subside, the itching heat being replaced with a tingling warmth. The Doctor smiled as she watched Yaz come to, her heavy eyelids flickering open, a small, tired smile stretching on her face.  
“Hi,” the doctor grinned, nose scrunching “Welcome back.”  
Yaz laughed, covering her eyes with her hand.  
“Oh my god.” She wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. She still couldn’t believe that just happened. She groaned when the doctor removed her fingers, lamenting the feeling of emptiness. She also couldn't believe it when the blonde brought her coated fingers to her mouth, running her tongue over them and lapping up the glistening moisture. She flashed her a sly grin before sucking her fingers clean, her thumb dragging down over her lower lip. 

Not wanting to waste another second. Yaz regained all the strength she could and flipped the doctor onto her back, pushing her into the mattress. She’d almost forgotten she had no idea what she was doing before she latched onto pale skin and began leaving clusters of purple bruises. Adorning her skin with galaxy like marks was now her new favourite thing. A thousand or so years old alien, quivering under her touch. It was enough to make Yaz feel like a god. She kissed and nipped at every bit of skin available to her, delighted when she earnt a whimper or a moan. Her shirt was thrown to the floor, her pale skin shining in the warm glow from the sun that was beginning to peak through the curtains. Yaz wondered how long they’d been going for. But all she was certain of is she didn’t want this feeling to end. 

The time lord didn’t really know what to expect. She’d not explored this body much since getting it. Admittedly she was liking it a lot more than her previous incarnations. She’d never felt this alive, her fingertips tingled and it felt like every hair on her body was standing to attention. She was so lost in though, lost in Yaz, that she didn’t realise, said woman was now shifting down her body. Wasting no time, throwing her pants to be forgotten about on the floor. Trailing blazing hot kisses up her thighs, ocacasionally nipping here and there. The younger woman's hair fell around her shoulders in dark, loose curls, framing her beautiful face. The doctor didn’t see her with her hair down and noted she’d love to see it like that more often. Taking a deep breath in, Yaz lowered herself down, placing a kiss onto burning hot centre. She heard the doctor hiss through her teeth. Another kiss and then she parter her lips, taking her swollen bud into her mouth, sucking lightly.  
“Oh!” the doctor exclaimed. “That is really new.”  
Yaz laughed deep in her throat, causing a vibration against her, earning a squeal from the alien. She pulled away, revelling in the wet “pop” it made. Flattening out her tongue, she ran it up and down in long broad strokes, gathering some of the moisture into her mouth. She tasted really sweet, probably all of the custard creams she ate, Yaz laughed to herself.

It didn’t take much before the time lord was squirming and writhing, hands fisted into the bed sheets. Yaz had to hold her down by the hips to keep her from bucking off of the mattress. She was very animated in day to day life, she should’ve known she’d be no different in bed. She’d worked out what movements got the doctor going, still amazed when she heard her say her name, in that low, breathy voice. Taking a hand from her hip, she ran her fingers through her folds, spreading them out to taste and feel every inch of her against her mouth. A stiffened tip of her tongue toyed at her entrance, marvelling on how hot and wet it was. She sunk it in further, feeling her tighten around her tongue.  
“Oh, Yaz.” Her hands grabbed onto her head, pulling at her hair. Her tongue flicked in and out, her head rocking back and forth, adding more power to her movements. The doctor unashamedly canted up her hips, forcing her more into her skilled mouth. Hands came round to grab at her behind, giving her something more to hold onto, fearing she would slip away. A hand left her head to grip the headboard, these sensations becoming all too much for the time lord. She’d never been so over stimulated before, she didn't even know she could feel like this. She wanted Yaz to engulf her completely. Her entire body was on fire and she wanted it to burn her alive. 

Nothing but Yaz’s name tumbled from her lips over and over again when she finally felt release. Her whole body alight with something new, something amazing. It was so deep, she felt it run through her soul, through her very essence. She felt like she could’ve regenerated there and then. A warmth pressed into her side as the younger woman flopped down next to her. Her head lay on her chest, listening to the heavy pounding of dual hearts. Her hand that was holding onto the bed frame for dear life eased up, the wood now slightly cracked. She had a tendency for breaking furniture so it seemed.


End file.
